The COPE Foundation

COPE Healing Tip of the Month

The Trap of Being Right

Our beliefs usually dictate how we feel. Our attitudes about people and events will generate our emotional responses to them. We all think our beliefs are always right, otherwise we would believe something else. Since we have practiced our beliefs over a lifetime, we are very loyal to them.

It is very common to get stuck on our rightness and lose sight of our real human objective, which is to be happy. Many people believe that being right IS being happy. Most of us eventually learn that our rightness may be limiting or restricting our happiness. Our rightness about effective recovery from significant emotional losses often limits our ability to complete relationships that have ended or changed. Many of the ideas and beliefs that we were taught about dealing with our losses are incorrect and unhelpful, but after practicing them for a lifetime, they can seem to be very RIGHT.

For example, we were all taught that time heals all wounds. But time does not complete anything that is emotionally incomplete in our relationship with someone who died. If we believe, with tremendous rightness, that time is going to heal our emotional wound, we are destined to wait forever.

Time does not heal. Time goes by. It is the actions that we take within time that can help us grieve and complete relationships that have ended or changed. It is essential to take a new position of rightness about which actions are most helpful to achieve effective long-term grief recovery.

It may be helpful to examine what you believe about grief and recovery from significant emotional loss. How you process the conflicting feelings caused by loss is dictated by what you believe. It is important to have effective beliefs that can lead you towards happiness, rather than stuck in rightness.

(adapted from Grief Recovery Method, Russell Friedman, 1993)

COPELine

(516) 364-COPE (2673)

Monday - Friday: 9:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Saturday - Sunday: 10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. (voicemail)

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Read about COPE in the pdf Long Island Business News

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A grief and healing organization
dedicated to helping parents and families
living with the loss of a child.

 

COPE (Connecting Our Paths Eternally) is a non-profit grief and healing organization dedicated to helping parents and families living with the loss of a child.

Since 1999, COPE has connected individuals who have experienced similar losses by providing ongoing emotional, therapeutic and spiritual programs. These include monthly parent and sibling bereavement support group meetings, weekly art and movement therapy workshops, and a variety of special programs for our members mourning a child's passing, as well as the community.

In addition to assisting local families on Long Island, our COPEline (grief hotline) and COPE website have enabled us to also provide grieving individuals outside of Long Island with immediate support and resources and referrals. By providing help and support, COPE enables individuals grieving the death of a child to find strength from within to face the difficult journey that lies ahead.

Dedicated to the spirits of our children who have passed, COPE helps us to Connect Our Paths Eternally, sustaining and building upon the bonds of love and energy that connect us with our children.

- Lillian Julien, President and Founder, in memory of Michelle Julien

- Richard & Judy Berg, Co-Founders, in memory of David Berg

- Patti Greenberg, Co-Founder, in memory of Sharon Gallucci


The end of 2012 marks 13 years since COPE has been a non-profit foundation. Twenty-one years ago, my 20-year-old daughter, Michelle, lost her life in an auto accident.  Shortly after her passing, she came to me in a dream and said, "I'm okay, Mommy. You're the ones who aren't okay and you need to reach out and help each other."   Her message inspired what has become COPE, an acronym for Connecting Our Paths Eternally. “Since the inception of COPE, Michelle’s message has been my ongoing inspiration. Her energy is the driving force within me, and she continues to co-create the path of COPE.

I hope that COPE can be a source of comfort and help you to one day find your way back to life.

Wishing you comfort and peace ,,.
Lillian Julien, COPE President and Founder


For directions to the COPE House, please click here.

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UPCOMING EVENTS

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COPE 2014 COPE Walk 12

Sunday, September 14, 2014
Long Beach Boardwalk
Long Beach, NY

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Grief Quest

Grief Quest, A Book by COPE Founder, Lillian Julien
griefquestcoverA portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book will go toward funding COPE.