This is taken from an article in Woman’s Day Magazine, October 2, 1990, written by Lois Duncan whose teenage daughter was murdered when she was 18 years old, the victim of a random shooting. Content has been summarized and paraphrased.

  • Tip #1: Don’t be afraid of intruding.
  • Tip #2: Take the initiative in offering practical help.
  • Tip #3: Don’t say, “I know how you feel” or “How are you?”
  • Tip #4: Don’t ask your friend to look for a silver lining.
  • Tip #5: Don’t say to your friend, “I don’t know how you’re surviving.”
  • Tip #6: Write a letter of condolence.
  • Tip #7: Be realistic.
  • Tip #8: Continue to see your friend socially.
  • Tip #9: Recognize that it takes time to recover.
  • Tip #10: Be there for your friend, to love and to listen.