Dear COPE Families,
This will be the first Mother’s Day without my mother. Her loss has brought up all my other losses. Loss triggers loss.
My relationship with my mother has brought to the surface my relationship with my daughter. Both began with birth and one is the role reversal of the other.
Many of my grief responses and questions surrounding the loss of my mom feel familiar. Grief is irrational. Feelings of vulnerability allow no room for added pressure. Expectations of others can easily overwhelm and deplete us. Taking back control only comes from admitting our limitations and asking for help.
Years ago it was easier to isolate and take to my bed. Years of grief experience warn me that throwing the covers over my head will only increase my anxiety. Realizing my breaking point and allowing others to help me has been empowering. Letting go of added burdens allows me more space to grieve.
My mother lived a long life. My daughter lived a short one. They are each a part of my heart.
Even though they have both passed from this earth, my mother is still my mother. I am still her child. My daughter, Michelle, is always my child and I am always her mother.
Thinking of all of you on Mother’s Day.