August 2015 Newsletter

Posted by: DBDO | Categories: Newsletters

COPE August Newsletter

 

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Words from COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien

 

Dear COPE Families,

I recently treated myself to a 2 day spa retreat in Pennsylvania.

Two wonderful massage treatments gave me a deeper appreciation for the importance of self- nurturing. Through deep relaxation I realized all the stress and pain I carry in my body. As my tension melted, I let go and surrendered.

Grief necessitates self-care and being kind to yourself.

When you least want to give yourself permission, when you have the least energy, this is the time you need to nurture yourself the most.

There is tremendous value in being massaged and touched. It opens you to the opportunity to release and receive.

Self-nurture is key because each of us is alone with our losses.

Take the time this summer, whether at home or away, to take care of yourself.

Lilly

 

 

COPE Healing Tip of the Month

From COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever, PhD, LCSW

Healing Tip: August 2015

 

Things Everyone Should Know About Siblings & Grief

 

There is a saying, “When a parent dies, you lose the past. When a child dies, you lose the future. When a sibling dies, you lose the past and the future.” That is the grief of a sibling—grief for what was past, and grief for what should have been the future. Remember to be there for siblings in grief. You can be the difference in helping them create a bright future, even if they now must do so without their beloved sibling.

 

Sibling grief is often misunderstood—by parents, families, friends, and counselors, even by the siblings themselves. Sibling grief has been almost entirely overlooked in the literature on bereavement, so it’s no wonder, then, that even mental health providers misunderstand sibling grief. How are families supposed to know how to help siblings through grief if even the research on the subject is lacking?

 

Siblings may feel “trumped” by the grief of other family members since the focus is usually on the parents or on the surviving spouse or children if an older sibling dies. This may lead to minimizing a sibling’s own loss.

 

Young siblings lose innocence when a brother or sister dies, which may lead to fears and anxiety; “Survivor guilt” is also common. Experiencing death as a child becomes a lifelong experience of processing and understanding the loss. Children grow up with grief, understanding more as they get older. Fear of death or dying is common. Anxiety or worry about getting sick may become prevalent. In young siblings, guilt for provocative behavior or for unacceptable feelings (jealousy) is common. Young children may think, before the death, “I wish my brother were dead!” then believe they somehow caused it to happen. Older siblings may wonder, “Why them and not me?” Because siblings are usually similar in age, it can bring up many questions about the sibling’s own life and death, and guilt along with it.

 

In many ways, siblings often experience a double loss: the loss of their sister or brother, and the loss of their parents (at least for a time, but sometimes, permanently). Siblings may manifest somatic symptoms of grief, including symptoms that mimic the deceased sibling’s symptoms. Especially in young children, symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, nightmares, body pain, digestive symptoms, and trouble sleeping are common. Having someone explain the loss to younger siblings, to be there for them and help them grieve, is ideal. Little children don’t comprehend death in the same way adults do. Even adult siblings will feel the loss deeply. The pain isn’t less, simply because you’re older. In fact, in many ways, it’s harder. You understand more. You know what it means to die, and you will feel the pain of the loss in a different way than young children, who still haven’t developed abstract thinking and understanding, will. Grieve your loss. Feel the loss as long as you need to, and give yourself time to heal. Because sibling loss is so misunderstood, you may receive messages that make you feel like you should be “over it by now.” They don’t know sibling loss. Now, you do. It takes time. Lots of time. It’s not about “getting over” the loss of a sibling. You don’t get over it. You create your life and move on, when you’re ready. But you will always remember your brother or sister—the missing piece of your life.

 

Adapted from Dr. Christina Hibbert  https://www.drchristinahibbert.com

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Please Support our Organization

Please help COPE continue to provide support by making a donation.  Any donation can be made in tribute to a particular child or loved one.  To donate on line, please click here to visit our donation page www.copefoundation.org, or you can send in a check to COPE at P.O. Box 1251, Melville, NY  11747.  COPE thanks you for your support.

 

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August COPE Calendar of Events (see details below)

 

August Workshops:

3          Merrick Parent Support Group Meeting – Merrick (Merrick Jewish Center: 7pm)

4          Tuesday DAYTIME Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow (COPE House: 1pm)

10        Monday Night Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow (COPE House: 7:30pm)

11        Labyrinth Workshop (COPE House: 7:00pm)

12        Wednesday Night Parent Support Group – Dix Hills (Chai Center: 7:00pm)

13        Thursday Night Parent Support Group Meeting (New Parents) (Jericho Library: 7:00pm)

17        Monday Night Adult Sibling Group – East Meadow (COPE House: 7:00pm)

19        Art Therapy Workshop – East Meadow (COPE House: 12:30pm)

24        Monday Night Parent Support Group Meeting– East Meadow (COPE House: 7:30pm)

27        Thursday Night Parent Support Group Meeting (2+ Years) (Syosset Library: 7:00pm)

28        Friday Night Parent Support Group – Ronkonkoma (United Methodist Church: 7:00pm)

 

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Poem

 

Remembering

Go ahead and mention my loved one,

The one that died, you know.

Don’t worry about hurting me further.

The depth of my pain doesn’t show.

Don’t worry about making me cry I’m already crying inside.

Help me to heal by releasing The tears that I try to hide.

I’m hurt when you just keep silent,

Pretending they didn’t exist,

I’d rather you mention my loved one

Knowing that they have been missed.

You asked me how I was doing I say “pretty good” or “fine”

But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime.

Elizabeth Den~

 

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COPE Book Corner

The Empty Room: Understanding Sibling Loss

by Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn

Ted is Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn’s older brother, best friend, and the “ringmaster of her days.” On a September morning when she is six, she wakes up and Ted is gone. Her parents explain that he went to the hospital for a while. “A while” turns out to be eight years in a plastic bubble, where he dies of a rare autoimmune disease at age seventeen.

The Empty Room is DeVita-Raeburn’s unflinching, often haunting recollection of life with Ted, woven into a larger exploration of the enormous — and often unacknowledged — impact of a sister’s or brother’s death on remaining siblings.

With an inspired blend of life experience, journalistic acumen, and research training, DeVita-Raeburn draws on interviews of more than two hundred survivors to render a powerful portrait of the range of conditions and emotions, from withdrawal to guilt to rage, that attend such loss. Finding little in professional literature, she realizes that those who suffer are the experts. And in the end, it is DeVita-Raeburn and her experts who present a larger, more complex understanding of the sibling bond, the lifelong impact of the severing of that bond, and the tools needed to heal and move forward.

The Empty Room is a fascinating literary hybrid in which Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn seamlessly fuses deeply affecting remembrance with a pragmatic, lucidly written exploration of the healing journey.

To purchase the book for 25% off through Centering Corporation, please click here (https://www.centering.org/index.php?page=book&id=88&pid=1177
https://www.centering.org/index.php?page=book&id=94&pid=1206).  Please enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE.

 

If you have a book to recommend which you think will help our families along their path of healing, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

COPE and Centering Corporation

COPE has partnered with the Centering Corporation to provide you with easy access to grief resources through our website. Centering Corporation is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing education and resources for the bereaved.  With resources on adult grief, death of a child, infant loss, children’s grief, as well as a host of grief-related products, Centering Corporation’s goal is, “We give you support.  We give you information.  We give you hope.”

 

You can easily access Centering Corporations vast array of resource from the home page of COPE’s website, the left or top tool bar where is says, “Grief Resource Center”.

 

When checking out on the Centering Corporation’s website, COPE hopes that you will enter the coupon code “COPE” where it asks for “Input Coupon or Promotional Code”. Doing so will enable 10% of your purchases to be directed back to COPE to help fund the grief support programs we offer parents, siblings and families living with the loss of a child.  COPE thanks you for your support.

 

COPE has published its very own Kindle book on how bereaved parents can COPE with their loss!  The Kindle book, “COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A CHILD: Strategies for Living with Loss & How Friends Can Help” is available on Amazon.

 

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Birthdays & Passings

In the month of August, we remember the following loved ones who were taken from us before their time:

 

1    Warren Levitt (1963, birthday), son of Carole Levitt, brother of Kenneth Levitt

2    Terrence Ambro (1994, birthday), son of Susan & Richard Ambro

Andrew Torres (2012, passing), son of Benjamin Torres

3    Rebecca Quatinetz (2009, passing), sister of Lara Quatinetz

Shawn Santo (1992, birthday), brother of Stephanie and Steven Santo

4    Stuart Gruskin (1959, birthday), son of Renee Gruskin

Steven Perez (2003, passing), brother of Dana and Rick Perez

Keith Peters (1966, birthday), son of Sandra Peters

Jonathan (Yani) Polansky (2012, passing), son of Denise & Cory Polansky

Susan Camanian (1959, birthday), daughter of Rosalind Galinson

5    Keith Stock (1977, birthday), son of Tracy Stock

Robert Bell (2010, passing), son of Gladys Bell

Jeffrey David Firak (2000, passing), son of Debbie Firak

Drew Nugent (2011, passing), son of Johanna Nugent and brother of Kayla Nugent

Holly Oestreich (2007, passing), daughter of Joyce Oestreich and sister of Lindsay Oestreich

6    Eric Perrin (2001, passing), son of Barbara & Steve Perrin

Robert Moss (2008, passing), son of Bob & Krista Moss

Hilary Paige Bernstein (2011, passing), daughter of Neal Bernstein and Barbara Varnhagen

Mohamad Abbas Momim (1984, birthday), brother of Farah Momim

Stacey Beth Kessler (2013, passing), daughter of Ronnie & Ira Kessler

Brian Bainko (1973, birthday), son of Linda Javrowsky

Anthony Latorre (2012, passing), son of Vito & Gina Latorre

7    Matthew Harris (1985, birthday), son of Robie & Louis Harris

Jordyn Mariah Pina (1994, passing), daughter of Alisha Pendleton

Robert F. Miner III (1987, birthday), son of Laurie & Robert Miner

8    Seth Fink (1994, passing), son of Arlene Orth

Melissa Giorgio (1986, birthday), daughter of Mary Giorgio

Scott McKey (1953, birthday), son of Gerry McKey

Ethan Max Williams (2001, birthday), son of Michelle Burgess

Kierin Garvey (1992, birthday), son of William & Theresa Garvey, brother of Shannon Garvey

Scott Lundgren (1974, birthday), son of Anna & Ronald Lundgren

Christopher Lohmann (1997, passing), son of George & Cathy Lohmann

Ken Schwitz (1957, birthday), brother of Tammy Robbins

Frederick Drey Meine (2013, passing), son of Denise Meine-Graham

Jessica Dellaquila (2002, passing), daughter of Melinda Lewis

Joseph Pratt (1994, birthday), son of Susan Pratt

9    Jonathan Sarli (2010, passing), son of Karen Sarli

Tatiana Galvez (2011, passing), daughter of Felicia & Felix Galvez

Karissa Volpe (1983, birthday), daughter of Karen Volpe

Jim Smith (2014, passing), son of Maureen Smith

10  Leslie Protzel (2001, passing), daughter of Monica Protzel

Robert (Bobby) Gerard Pasqualone (2008, passing), son of Carolyn Mekeel

Ronald Eisenburg (2009, passing), brother of Linda Biderman

Victor Orlando Woolson (2012, passing), son of Teresa Woolsen

11  Brian Bazuro (1981, birthday), son of Janet & Ralph Bazuro

12  Alexandria Barbel Roberts (2011, birthday), daughter of Andrea Roberts

Karly Meeks (2010, passing), daughter of Jennifer Stephens

Eric Doll (1993, birthday), son of Lisa & Dan Doll

13  Steven Siegel (2006, passing), son of Marc & Marian Siegel and brother of Allison Siegel

Michael DiMaria (2010, passing), son of Patti & Joseph DiMaria, brother of Jennifer DiMaria

Taylor Dane Skinner (2011, passing), son of Kim Counts

Peter Kaliscik (1988, birthday), son of Carol & Peter Kaliscik

Sue Cohen (1960, birthday), daughter of Esther & Larry Wynn

14  Harley Bruce (“Dub”) Dornan, Jr. (2008, passing), son of Harley Jesse & Codi Dornan

Linda Kerman (2001, passing), sister of Lisa Kerman

Dane Ewald (1979, birthday), son of Jeffrey Ewald

Deborah Barnes (1961, birthday), daughter of Marcia Jedzrowski

15  William Mark Laube (2009, passing), son of Beth & William Laube and brother of Christina Laube

Frank Berin (1960, passing), son of Diane Berin

Clarissa Gude (2011, passing), daughter of Clare Gude, sister of Chelsea Gude, Cherice Gude and Jonathan Gude

16  Felice Schoenbrun Ahrens (2003, passing), daughter of Roberta & Arnold Schoenbrun

Sharon Kahn (1977, birthday), daughter of Susan Kahn

Ilisa Lupo (2011, passing), sister of Marni Garen

Brendan DeSena (2012, passing), son of Jean & Joe DeSena

17  Nicole Novick (1997, passing), daughter of Carol & Gerry Acker

Kenneth Ditzel (1966, birthday), son of Elaine Ditzel

Maureen Brack (1958, birthday), daughter of Anne Brack

18  Julia Zelmanovich (1998, passing), daughter of Helena & Victor Zelmanovich

Jonathan Morris (1964, birthday), brother of Jody Vosilla

Giovanni Cipriano (1999, birthday), son of Georgina & John Cipriano

Genovieve Soumia (1978, birthday), daughter of Ann Rickmeyer

19  Christopher Stenger (1975, birthday), son of Carol & Michael Bolinder

Jordyn Mariah Pina (1993, birthday), daughter of Alisha Pendleton

20  Fritz Edward B. Ayunting (2011, passing), son of Julieth Ayunting

Bryan Herold (2011, passing), son of Mike Herold and Diane Parziale

Jonathan Kessner (2013, passing), son of Cheryl Kessner and brother of Robert Kessner

Cory Vogel (2014, passing), son of Lisa & Jay Vogel

21  Catherine Larocca (2006, passing), daughter or Carol Larocca

Shaun Tolan (1982, birthday), son of John & Janis Tolan, brother of Sherry Carpenito

Michael Jarosz (1989, birthday), son of Angela & John Jarosz

Tara Palamar (1980, birthday), daughter of Pat & Jim Palamar

Dr. James Matthew Wiezirek (1981, birthday), son of Mary Beringer

Shaun Singh (1969, birthday), son of Renoka Singh

22 Keith Peters (2009, passing), son of Sandra Peters

Timothy Maddox (2008, passing), son of Claire Maddox

23  Adam Gaynes (2004, passing), son of Arlene & David Gaynes

Jeffrey Zukerman (1983, passing), son of Claire Zukerman Leinhardt, brother of Steven

Zukerman and Amy Zukerman Julien

Larissa Kaufman Guarrera (2009, passing), daughter of Dorothy Kaufman

Taylor Dane Skinner (1990, birthday), son of Kim Counts

David Lawrence (1988, birthday), son of Mary Desmond

24  Joshua Link (2009, passing), son of Ronald & Linda Link and brother of Sara Link

25  Louis DiGregorio (2003, passing), brother of Dana Gregorio

Jeremy Lee Graham (2001, passing), son of Jayne Graham

Kenneth Kresch (2008, passing), son of Drs. Leonard & Mary Lou Kresch

Catherine Larocca (2006, passing), daughter of Carol Larocca

Earnest Montes, Jr. (1975, birthday), son of Lucy & Earnie Montes

Caitlin Petrou (1999, passing), daughter of Bridgette Dooley-Petrou and sister of Megan Petrou

Addison Quinn Slansky (2010, birthday), daughter of Jeremy & Melissa Slansky

Stephen Clark (2014, passing), son of Rosemary & Joe Clark

Robert Treimanis (2014, passing), son of Theresa Tremanis

26  Jimmy Nappo (birthday), son of Marianne Nappo

27  Eric Fabris (2008, passing), son of Barbara & Eric Fabris

Annaya Marie Edwards (2010, birthday and passing), daughter of Nneka Edwards

Christopher Lohmann (1980, birthday), son of George & Cathy Lohmann

Tyler Pine (1992, birthday), son of Kathy & Craig Pine

28  Julie Rosen (2005, passing), daughter of Terri & Neal Rosen

Theresa Durso (2010, passing), daughter of Carolyn Durso

Jessica Marino (1988, birthday), daughter of Thomas Marino

29 Addison Quinn Slansky (2010, passing), daughter of Jeremy & Melissa Slansky

Christopher Procci (1972, birthday), brother of Kim Procci

Jeffrey Wagner (1976, birthday), son of Brian & Rosemary Wagner

30  Jarrad Mancuso (2010, passing), son of Sheree & John Mancuso

Tricia Neitzel (1970, birthday), daughter of Ralph & Pat Siniscalchi

31  Thomas Michael Shavel (2010, passing), son of Janet Shavel, brother of Joe Shavel

John Paul Pedagna (2014, passing), son of Frances Pedagna

 

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COPE Parent Column

August 2015

 

When I Think of You

For Nicholas Ferrante

 

The hours in each of my days are of no consequence.  They accumulate and tumble haphazardly into the hours of the next day without rhyme or reason.

There is little thought or logic to any activity whether scheduled or otherwise.

Chaos runs rampant in my thoughts, only to be held somewhat accountable by the constant sadness that inhabits my mind and body every minute of each nondescript day.

When I think of you.

 

Self preservation rears its narcissistic head constantly and is sometimes successful in bullying my grief into hiding, granting me temporary respite from the overwhelming sense of loss that dominates my very existence.

When I think of you.

 

Everywhere I look, I see your photos, always with a smile on your face.  I see you as a baby, a four-year old, an eight-year old, a 14-year old, an 18-year old and a 20-year old (your last birthday.  Depending on the day, I either look you squarely in the face and smile or sneak a quick look at you and become teary eyed.

When I think of you.

 

You follow me everywhere. On a routine trip to the food store, you sit next to me in the car, as you always did. In the store, you remind me to pick up Mountain Dew and Doritos for you. You insist on putting the groceries into the car for me, and when we arrive home, you carry everything into the house, always overloading your arms as you reassure me, “Mom, I can do it, I’m a strong guy.” What I wouldn’t give to have you sitting beside me in the car again or going food shopping with me one more time. My heart aches for the hundredth time today.

When I think of you.

 

I’ve become very good at pretending, as I go through the motions of “living” every day, although my purpose for living was so unmercifully taken from me. As the days pass and turn into months, I find myself more and more living for the future. There will come a time when we will ultimately be together again as mother and son. This “future” has taken up permanent residence in my mind and heart and has enveloped my entire being with hope. I embrace this hope every minute of every day, and smile.

When I think of you.

 

-Jayne Ferrante

 

Please share with us your writings about your child.  Email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.org for more information.
COPE Sibling Column

August 2015

 

Please share with us your writings about your sibling.  Email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.org for more information.
COPE News

Congratulations to Carol and Peter Kaliscik on the birth of their daughter Katie.

Congratulations to Patti & Joe DiMaria on the birth of their granddaughter Samantha.

 

Condolences to Rosanna Sopack on the loss of her husband John.

 

Below is a link to a wonderful resource for COPE parents for their grieving teens:

https://www.outwardbound.org/group-programs/heroic-journey/

 

Below is a link COPE parents might find helpful, a guide to resources and referrals to prevent identity theft of deceased children.
https://www.idtheftinfosource.com/Deceased_Child.html

 

If anyone has any news to share with the group or a poem or inspirational story (to potentially be included in a future newsletter if you wish), please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

Also, if you would like to have a picture of your child or sibling posted on the COPE website, please email me a jpeg and we will add it to the children’s page.  Also, if you have any foundations for your child, we would happily list those on our website.
Labyrinth Workshop for Parents and Adult Siblings

Tuesday, August 11th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP

Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

Join COPE and healer Christine Guardiano for our next monthly “Healing from the Inside Out” workshop.  The “Labyrinth Workshop” will be held on Tuesday, August 11, 2015 at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow (Field 6A).

 

COPE is dedicating a permanent labyrinth at Eisenhower Park, sustaining and building upon the bonds of love and energy that connect us with our loved ones. The labyrinth is an ancient symbolic path with healing and spiritual significance. The Cretan pattern dates back to the third millennium B.C.E. and has been used within many cultures and spiritual traditions throughout the planet. For most, labyrinths represent life’s journey or spiritual pilgrimage. Walking the labyrinth often produces a calming, centering feeling. This alternating balancing motion can quiet one’s body, mind, and spirit often inducing a receptive state for meditation and contemplation in the center of the labyrinth.

 

COPE is offering this workshop to parents and adult siblings in order to introduce this wonderful healing vehicle to our families, as well as the opportunity to purchase a memorial brick in honor of a child or sibling.  Brick orders are due September 1st for bricks to be installed for our mid-October dedication ceremony.

 

You MUST RSVP for this workshop to Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.org by Friday, August 7th!
Camp Erin® NYC – COPE Foundation

For the Latest News About COPE Camp Erin New York City!

August 2015

 

Hi Everyone!

 

Hope you are all well and enjoying the warmth of summer.

 

Don’t delay, Get your applications in for Camp Erin NYC, a FREE weekend bereavement camp for children ages 6-17 dealing with a major loss, scheduled for August 28th – 30th, 2015, at Camp Wayne, in PA, on the New York State border. For more information, please email Camp Erin NYC Camp Director, Ann Fuchs afuchs@copefoundation.org or 914 552-6919.

 

Campers are rolling in. We are not full yet, but numbers are increasing. How is this for unbelievable…….. possibly two sets of triplets and four sets of twins!

 

For the first time, we are offering adult accommodations for any parent/guardian who is bringing a child to camp. We are the first Camp Erin to offer this mini retreat to campers’ families, being fully aware of the support needed for you, as well. Please reply if interested, first come first served, email Lilly Julien at ljulien5@gmail.com

 

Come smile, share and breathe deeply! There is a beautiful world waiting for you!

 

Best,

 

Ann

 

Camp Erin New York City- COPE Foundation, a FREE bereavement camp for children ages 6-17 dealing with a major loss, is scheduled for August 28th – 30th, 2015, at Camp Wayne, in PA, on the New York State border.  For more information on Camp Erin, volunteering, or for registration materials, please email COPE-Camp Erin New York City Camp Director Ann Fuchs at afuchs@copefoundation.org or 914-552-6919.
COPE Walk 13

Sunday, September 27th

Long Beach Boardwalk in Long Beach

Register NOW for our 13th annual COPE Walk on Sunday, September 27th from 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. at the Long Beach Boardwalk in Long Beach. Join us as we walk to honor our children and siblings who have passed, to support members of COPE and encourage their healing, and to expand the organization’s outreach to others in need of help.

 

Levels of sponsorship (first come, first served):

 

Event sponsor: $500 – includes name/logo on signage and give-away (max 4) – 3 LEFT

Mile-marker sponsors and water bottle sponsors SOLD OUT!

 

Sponsorships/sponsors signs can be made in memory of a child, sibling or loved one.

 

Sponsorship deadline: August 1, 2015

 

Or just sign up to walk that day!  No minimum donation…. give what you can.  All walkers will be provided with a t-shirt and will be able to attach a runner’s bib (also provided) on which to put their loved one’s name.

 

To sponsor, donate or register to walk:

1) ONLINE – please click here ((https://app.etapestry.com/hosted/COPE/WalkRegistration.html).

2) Send in the attached with a check (a hard copy was also mailed to you)

 

Please also email karen@copefoundation.org with any sponsorship commitments so I can keep track of which ones are still available!

 

For those of you interested in creating your own teams in memory of a loved one, COPE is partnering with Razoo to offer an online community for raising funds. A COPE Walk 13 Team has been created, which you can access by clicking here (https://www.razoo.com/team/Cope-Walk-2015). All you need to do is “Join This Team” by clicking on the green button on the COPE Walk 2015 Team page. The website will walk you through the process of creating your own fundraising page step-by-step. You can include photos and videos of your child or sibling, set your fundraising goal, customize a thank you and share the page with your friends and family. For those of you who prefer the “low tech” method of outreach, we do have template letters for you to send to your friends and family asking for their support of you as you walk. Please contact me if you would like a word version of this letter.

 

We are looking for people to help plan the event. If you have the time to give back to the organization and help plan this important event, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Monday Night Parent Support Group Meeting – Merrick

Merrick Jewish Center

Monday, August 3rd at 7:00 p.m. SHARP

Join COPE and social worker Judy Hasnas for our South Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Monday, August 3rd at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Merrick Jewish Center (in the LIBRARY unless otherwise noted) which is located at 225 Fox Boulevard  Merrick, NY.  This group meets one Monday evening of the month at this time.  Judy Hasnas, LCSW, BCD, has a private practice in Bellmore, New York, and facilitated bereavement groups for parents of fire fighters who were killed on 9/11 as part of the Counseling Service Unit, FDNY.  She also worked as an independent contractor at the Steinway Child and Family Service of Howard Beach and was a social work coordinator at Bellevue Hospital Center.

 

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Thursday Night Parent Support Group Meeting (2+ Years)

Syosset Library

Thursday, August 27th at 7:00 p.m.  SHARP

Join COPE for our Two-Year Plus North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, August 27th at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Syosset Public Library (225 So. Oyster Bay Road).

 

COPE will once again be joined by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy.   This is a group intended for parents whose loss occurred over two years ago.  Newly bereaved parents should feel free to attend one of COPE’s other support groups.

 

The second group, at the Jericho Public Library in Jericho (1 Merry Lane) is now for parents new to COPE.

 

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Thursday Night Parent Support Group Meeting (New Parents)

Jericho Library

Thursday, August 13th at 7:00 p.m.  SHARP

Parents NEW TO COPE, please join us for our North Shore Parent Support Group meeting on Thursday, August 13th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. SHARP at the Jericho Public Library (1 Merry Lane in Jericho).

 

This group, which meets monthly, is facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, a licensed social worker with a private practice specializing in bereavement counseling and individual and family therapy. This is for parents NEW TO COPE, as Marilyn’s other Thursday and Monday groups are filled at this time.

 

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Monday Night Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow

COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

Monday, August 10th and August 24th at 7:30 p.m.  SHARP

The Monday night COPE North Shore group will meet this month on Monday, August 10th and Monday, August 24th from 7:30 – 9:00 p.m. This group will be facilitated by Marilyn Kohn, LCSW, and will be held at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, East Meadow NY at Field 6A.  For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org or email karen@copefoundation.org.  This group is FILLED so all parents new to COPE should plan on attending the Thursday night Jericho group.

 

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Wednesday Night Parent Support Group Meeting –Dix Hills

The Chai Center in Dix Hills

Wednesday, August 12th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP

Please join COPE and social worker Denise Fields for our Parent Support Group in Suffolk County, at the Chai Center in Dix Hills (501 Vanderbilt Parkway).  This group meets next on Wednesday, August 12th at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m.  Denise has a private psychotherapy practice in Dix Hills, specializing in bereavement.  She previously was a consultant to the Huntington School district, and ran bereavement groups for the Family Service League in Huntington.  The group normally meets the second Wednesday evening of every month from 7:00-8:30 p.m.

 

For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Friday Night Parent Support Group Meeting – Ronkonkoma

United Methodist Church in Ronkonkoma

Friday, August 28th at 7:00 p.m. SHARP

Please join COPE and social worker Lisa Vitucci for our NEW Central Suffolk County Parent Support Group at the United Methodist Church in Ronkonkoma (792 Hawkins Avenue Lake Grove, NY 11755, 631-588-5856).  This group will meet next on Friday, August 28th at 7:00 – 8:30 p.m.  Lisa has more than ten years’ experience as a bereavement social worker for a hospice agency and is currently the Director of Social Work at ProHEALTH Care Support.  Lisa can be reached with any questions at 516-808-5821.

 

For more information or to express interest in this group, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Tuesday Night Parent Support Group – NYC

1177 Avenue of the Americas @46th Street

On Hiatus

The New York City parent group, facilitated by social worker Bridgette Boucher, which met on the second Tuesday of every month at 1177 Avenue of the Americas at 46th Street floor C-2, Suite 0020 from 7:00-8:30 p.m. is CURRENTLY ON HIATUS awaiting additional interest.  If you know of anyone interested in this group, please contact COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever at amyolshever@copefoundation.org.

 

Bridgette is currently a family therapist working with the Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and has a private practice in New York City.  She was previously a therapist for the Ackerman Institute for the Family, treating families dealing with grief, substance abuse, domestic violence, trauma and relationship problems.  For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org or contact Bridgette directly at boucher9175@gmail.com.

 

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NEW Tuesday DAYTIME Parent Support Group Meeting – East Meadow

COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

Tuesday, August 4th at 1:00 p.m. SHARP

The NEW DAYTIME Parent Support Group which normally meets the first Tuesday of the month at the COPE House at Eisenhower Park (Field 6A) in East Meadow will meet next on Tuesday, July 7th from 1:00 – 2:30 p.m.  The group is facilitated by COPE Clinical Director Amy Olshever.  For more information or to express your interest, please contact Amy at 516-418-6606.

 

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COPE Grandparents Group, East Meadow

COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

Meets Bi-Monthly – Next Meeting is September 8th

COPE has started up a new group for bereaved parents who have lost adult children with children.  This group will meet next on Tuesday, September 8th from 6:30-8:00 p.m. and will be facilitated by Lisa Vitucci.  Parents will discuss the dynamics involved dealing with grandchildren and their surviving parent and share their stories and issues they may have in this different family relationship.  Suggestions can be made as to how to deal with these issues Lisa has more than ten years’ experience as a bereavement social worker for a hospice agency and is currently the Director of Social Work at ProHEALTH Care Support.  Lisa can be reached with any questions at 516-808-5821.

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Saturday Morning Adult Sibling Support Group – NYC

274 Madison Ave. Manhattan

Meets Quarterly – DATE TBD

The Saturday COPE young adult sibling support group in Manhattan facilitated by licensed social worker Amy Kirschenblatt is currently meeting next on a date TBD at 10:30am at the offices of tmg Media (274 Madison Avenue, Room 1202).  This is a new location, right next to Chipolte.  To RSVP, please email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.org or you may contact Amy Kirschenblatt directly at amysross@aol.com. This group will meet quarterly going forward.

 

Amy Kirschenblatt is currently a social worker with North Shore Hospital System/LIJ Forest Hills Hospital PCAP.  She was previously a school social worker for the New York City Board of Ed.

 

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Monday Night Adult Sibling Support Group – East Meadow

COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

Monday, August 17th at 7:00 p.m.

Please join COPE for our adult sibling group on Long Island on Monday, August 17th from 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. at the COPE House in East Meadow.  For directions, please visit our website at www.copefoundation.org or email karen@copefoundation.org.  The group will be facilitated by licensed social worker Amy Kirschenblatt.  Amy is currently a social worker with North Shore Hospital System/LIJ Forest Hills Hospital PCAP.  She was previously a school social worker for the New York City Board of Ed.  For more information, please email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Teen Loss Support Group (13-17)

COPE House in East Meadow

Next meeting: September 10th

Teens who have lost a sibling, parent, or significant loved one…. If you are interested in attending the new COPE Teen Loss Group one Thursday evening of every month at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in East Meadow, please express your interest to Clinical Director Amy Olshever at 516-418-6606.  The next meeting of the group will be September 10, 2015 at 7:00 p.m.

 

The group is facilitated by licensed social worker Jennifer Plunkett.   Jennifer is currently a psychotherapist with a private practice in Huntington where she specializes in treating adolescents, and an adjunct instructor at Suffolk Community College where she teaches courses in Child & Adolescent Psychology.  Jennifer previously served as a bereavement specialist at Good Shepherd Hospice.  There will also be a weekly social media component involved between the meetings. There is no cost to participate in this program.

 

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Parent Writing Workshop

COPE Writer’s Workshop Program

Meets Quarterly

COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

COPE parents, join us for the Third Journal Writing Workshop at a date TBD at 7:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park, and learn how you too, can use the art of writing to help heal.  In our first meetings, we explored writings from multiple authors, who shared their grief in a variety of ways.  We learned the importance of keeping a journal, and how expressing our thoughts through the written word resonating in a more soulful way.  We then began the process of writing responses to our own prompts, which we shared within the warm, safe confines of others ready to begin the journey as well.   We learned there is no wrong…just write.  We hope that you will take the time to join us for this truly one of a kind workshop.  A pen is all that’s required!

 

Liz Yorio is the founder and facilitator of the Friends for Life Writing Workshop, a thriving writer’s group designed exclusively for Breast Cancer Survivors on Long Island.  Her healing Journal Workshops and Anthology Writer’s Groups integrate her innate talent of honoring the individual with her extensive experience in writing workshop facilitation.  She has successfully helped numerous clients discover their inner voices through a program that focuses on the fundamentals of writing, using journaling as a healing modality.   Woven within the fabric of their lives, Elizabeth’s program has helped survivors delve deeper into the creative process as they learn to take risks with both their writing and themselves.  A graduate of SUNY Albany, with a Master’s Degree in Education from Hunter College, Elizabeth taught in New York City for several years.  Having worked closely with educators from Columbia University’s Writing Project as well as writing specialists from the Professional Development Lab in New York City’s District 2, Elizabeth has been able to successfully formulate a unique writer’s workshop that incorporates teachings from both youth and adult education.  She is currently collaborating on her second Anthology.

 

You don’t need to attend every workshop.  Please bring a writer’s notebook with you.  For more information, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.
Art Therapy Workshop for Parents

Wednesday, August 19th at 12:30 p.m.

COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

Art therapy will meet this month on Wednesday, August 19th from 12:30 p.m. until 2:00 p.m. at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park in East Meadow.  You do NOT have to be an artist or have artistic “talent” to participate.  For more information or to RSVP, please email Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.  Facilitated by COPE Founder and President Lilly Julien.
Spiritual Circle

Not Meeting this Month

COPE House at Eisenhower Park in East Meadow (Field 6A)

The Spirituality Circle will not be held this month at the COPE House in Eisenhower Park in East Meadow.   Since space is limited please RSVP.

 

Spirituality Circle meetings are hosted by COPE President and Founder Lilly Julien.  COPE hopes that all parents interested in spirituality as an integral part of the healing process will attend these monthly get-togethers.  Some months will include guest speakers and healers. If you have any questions, please contact Lilly Julien at ljulien5@gmail.com.

 

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Community Events

Please contact Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.org with any community healing events to list in our newsletter.
COPE Individual Support, or “Buddy System”

For those bereaved parents and siblings not ready for a support group, or who wish to augment their support group experience with individual support, COPE offers a “buddy system.”  If you are in need of a buddy (a parent or sibling who shares your particular loss), OR if you wish to act as a buddy to a newly bereaved parent or sibling, please contact Karen Flyer at karen@copefoundation.org.  Peer support is truly at the heart of COPE!
COPE Donations

 

We thank the following people for making general donations to COPE during the months of (late) June 2015 and July 2015:

 

Sandy Wolkoff in memory of Steven Wolkoff
Susan & Meritt Gavin
Sherwin Lener
Diane Berin
Gloria & Bruce Ciolli

COPE thanks everyone who made donations to Camp Erin during the months of (late) June 2015 and July 2015 (bowling event donations to be noted separately):

 

Elise Dowell in honor of Amy Gross
Lindsay Burcyk
Donald King
Shelley & Rick Simon

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If you no longer wish to receive these newsletters, please email Karen Flyer at Karen@copefoundation.org.

 

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Karen Flyer

Executive Director, COPE

P.O. Box 1251

Melville, NY 11747

Tel: (516) 484-4993, Fax: 516-484-4885

Email: karen@copefoundation.org

www.copefoundation.org